Continuity 2.4 Late January 2025

Continuity 2.3 Late January 2025
My time at Dillion was restorative. I spent a lot of time down at the water just looking. I’d like to share an excerpt from my journal; I had no idea of what was coming at me in the next few hours.
I went into Petaluma to see a guitar making friend, Bruce Sexuar, and we played a lot of his guitars. They were all spectacular instruments. In the corner was a dusty mandolin case and I asked to see what was inside. The case opened and what was before me simply blew my mind. It was a hand-built mandolin from a luthier in Portland. It was really dirty, Bruce said he used it to go to jams. The strings were old but when I played it, it felt like fire in my hand. Bruce told me to take it home and play it.
When I went to sleep last night, I felt scattered, as if ashes to the wind. Before I drifted off to sleep, I addressed my allies, both good and bad, and I welcomed them into my sleep. I welcomed whatever knowledge they were willing to share with me, be it good or bad.
I got up early and went down to the water and just sat for over an hour and a half. No body was awake when I got back to the house. I sat at the table and just wrote. As I was writing it occurred to me that being afraid is a simple case of not understanding what I was encountering. It was not scary or confusing. The thoughts I was having were just thoughts of not understanding. This revelation filled me with awe and wonder, and I’ve been able to apply this to my daily life.
That night we met Bruce for dinner and he asked me how I liked the mandolin. I told him that I had to have it. He allowed me to take it home and said, “pay me when you can, just don’t change your mind”. I was over the moon. I had been looking for an instrument of this level for a long time, and it had found its way to me.
I cleaned up the dishes, played my new mandolin for about 45 minutes and started the drive home. Once I hit the 101 southbound, I put the first Crosby Stills and Nash album on and let my imagination wander. I was thinking about David Crosby and all the song writing he had done in the area that I was driving through. I crossed the Golden Gate and turned south through the park, still enjoying the music.
I was southbound on 19th street and all of a sudden, all the warning lights on the dashboard of my Prius came on, but they were very faint and hard to read. I called Wendi to see if she could help me diagnosis the problem. Funny thing was the car was driving great, and I was making every light which is unheard of on 19th. She asked me if the was a red triangle in the warning lights and I said yes. “It’s the triangle of death” she said, pull over right now, but there was no place to. With no traffic I was already on the 280 southbound with no place to stop. I ended up calming myself down, asking my allies for help. I called the service department of my local Toyota dealer, and we figured it was the small starter battery (hybrids have two batteries). I had had the main hybrid battery replaced about 20,000 miles before, so I know it wasn’t that. I drove directly home and made every stop light from Petaluma to my driveway. I called AAA but they didn’t have a battery in stock. Wendi found one at AutoZone and after a quick dinner I headed over there to have it installed.
The parking lot was crowded with a lot of loud car stereos, but they had the battery and offered to put it in. It was getting dark and the installer was struggling with the flashlight. I asked him if I could hold it for him. As he handed it to me I flashed back to my father having me hold the flashlight while he tried to repair our car. I was immediately back in Illinois with him screaming at me, “ You stupid kid, you are shining it in my eyes, how come you are so stupid”. After he finished, he would beat me, telling me how stupid I was. The flashback was very real and unnerved me in the moment. I’ve had enough time on the couch to realize that I needed to address these feelings and I started to tell the installer the story. I’m sure it made him uncomfortable, but he finished quickly and I was on my way home. I discussed it with Wendi and to my amazement, I was able to control me feelings and not carry the incident like a burden; it felt freeing.
Three days later in the early morning I was scanning my Facebook page and this popped up out of nowhere.

I really didn’t know what to say except to thank my allies for reassuring me that the path I was on now was the right path.
It’s hard to say when the universe will give you a healing message, I certainly understood this one.